When it comes to making a change, let’s face it. We’re kinda terrible at it. We all begin with good intentions. We see a problem, we come up with the right solution, start making some changes and then fall flat on our faces. Why? What can we do differently in order to make change stick? What follows are a few examples of what my current clients are working through. Their names have been changed, and sometimes a few stories are woven together into one character. But I’ll guess that you’re going to recognize yourself in at least one example.

Good enough in food habits

Take Nancy, for example. Nancy expressed frustration about her eating habits. Her diet consists of whatever hubby makes for her, and if there’s no time, then it’s take-out food. Plus eating boxes of mac and cheese at night. “I need a change!” she declared, and she was right.

“What would you like to do?” I asked. Nancy then laid out a complex meal plan that involved measuring out specific foods that required specific recipes and lots of prep time.

“This works for me!” She beamed. “If I can’t eat like this, then I just eat whatever I want.”

But…it’s clear Nancy is struggling to get any healthy food in her diet, not setting aside any time for food prep, binge eating at night, overestimating portion size and feeling really crappy about all of it. She’s striving for what she sees as a “perfect” diet, and if she doesn’t totally nail it then she throws up her hands and quits.

Perfection. It’s the enemy of progress.

After more conversation and a few changes to the kitchen environment, we decided that what needed to happen next was to acknowledge that perfection was too ambitious to strive for. That it was okay if Nancy ate some of the “wrong” foods sometimes. That it was not a cause to completely come off the rails. We decided to focus on learning how to estimate portion sizes and what a complete meal should look like. This took Nancy in the right direction. And it was much more sustainable than trying to hold herself to an impossible standard.

She’s learning to perceive her efforts as good enough, and she’s feeling the results she was looking for.

Good enough in movement practice

Jenna thinks of herself as an athlete. She rides bikes, plays sports, and is in pretty good physical shape. But a recent move and job change have shifted how much normal movement she gets in her everyday schedule. She’s no longer walking to work and taking early morning fitness classes at the local gym. She feels like a slug and needs to get back into a routine.

“What would make you feel better?” I ask.

Well, I need to run 5 miles at least 3 days a week. Get back to my regular Spin schedule. Indoor soccer league starts soon and we have two games a week plus practice. I want to ride my bike more, maybe I can ride to my sister’s house on my day off. And I want to get stronger, more toned. I want to be able to do a pull-up again…”

I know what I want to say, but I let her finish.

“And what are you currently doing?”

“Oh, nothing right now.”

In other words, Jenna wants to go from zero to perfection overnight. We spend more time talking about her schedule, what she is able to make time for, and how successful she believes she will be. It takes some time to talk her down, but we eventually settle on a simple routine to get started. We can always add more over time. But to go from having no physical activity to doing several hours of intense physical activity all at once is a recipe for disaster. Not only is she at risk from not achieving her goal, she’s also at risk of getting hurt! This will surely set her back mentally and physically.

When starting up a new movement routine, add slowly and thoughtfully. Consider not only what “perfect” looks like for you, consider what’s “good enough?” What’s the least amount of change you can successfully make for the biggest possible results?

Good enough in climbing, and in life

When I first started traditional rock climbing, it was really intimidated. I had to learn to trust sticking my fingers and toes into jagged cracks in the rock. I had to learn new techniques that felt less secure than standing up on surface features, like sport climbers do. It was awkward and hard and I struggled to learn how to move upwards despite feeling insecure in my stance.

Until I heard this piece of sage advice shouted up from below me:

“Each hold only has to support a third of your bodyweight. You don’t have to be able to hang a truck off it. Find a hold that’s good enough and go.”

There it was: good enough. Why hadn’t I thought of this before. Of course, I have three points of contact on the rock at any given time. If each one supports about a third of my weight, it’s secure. It’s good enough. I don’t need three perfect holds before I take another step. This line echoes in my head every time I find myself in a similar situation. And it’s propelled my climbing ability in a significant way.

The same is true of anything you’re working on in life. If it’s good enough, move on!

The next time you feel stuck, ask yourself: Am I striving for perfection? Is my standard for success too high? Is what I have done already good enough?